Conflict is
generally considered a "four”-letter word and something to be
avoided. However, an aversion to
conflict may expose a limited understanding of change and change management.
Though
this may appear as an oxymoron, conflict is positive.
I’ve
learned that conflict is a powerful tool that when wielded artfully can produce
incredible improvement. I am not
suggesting that conflict does not have negative consequences or that conflict
doesn't generate negativity, alienation, hostility, and etc. Rather, I am saying that conflict is
something to embrace, leverage, and in many cases create to drive the change
necessary to meet or exceed an expected outcome.
The
key for conflict to be positive is to first appreciate that seldom is the root
cause of conflict fully identified or understood. The inability to clearly define the issue or
problem allows for a coalescing of several loosely or possibly disparate issues
into a very daunting situation. In fact,
when this happens, the real issue or cause rarely is addressed.
In
a time defined by limited characters, citizen journalists, and instant
everything, making time to fully identify and unpack root cause of a conflict
is extremely challenging and critical.
Today,
conflict is crazy reactionary to symptoms resulting in intense speculation and
conjecture as well as reckless oversimplification of complex problems and
issues. Now more than ever, leaders must
lead through defining, anticipating, planning, and articulating a thoughtful
course of action or process rather than playing to the emotions of the moment.
Truth
be known, we live in a time of distrust.
Leaders are not trusted irrespective of the fact that the percentages of
those in leadership positions that have violated trust are an extreme
minority. The super majority of leaders
albeit in the public or private sector are individuals committed to the highest
standards of ethics and doing what is good, right, and true. Their challenge is they are defined by those
who are not.
So,
how do you make conflict positive?
Here
are a few points I’ve learned.
· Define the conflict separating the
symptoms from root cause.
· Seek to understand perspectives as
well as the experiences of those involved without judgment or opinion
(leveraging conflict requires suspending judgment about all those involved
including their motivation).
· Seek to separate emotional
attachments and sentiment from the logical - challenging but also a must. The art of listening as opposed to just
hearing is equally critical. Validate
through acknowledgement the contrarian views or opinions.
· Constantly and consistently
communicate the "what" - the issue as well as "why" it is
an issue, "why" it matters as well as "what" is at stake.
· In a like manner, the
"how" or the process being used must be reinforced consistently and
constantly - be on alert for unrelated issues being woven into the conflict at
hand. Don't dismiss them but graciously
state they will be addressed outside of the moment.
· Don’t hesitate to report progress
or status in a proactive, timely, planned, and routine manner. Trust individuals and groups with
information. Don't paraphrase. I’ve learned to use verbatim as much as
possible the words being used by those involved. Though time consuming, having
others see and hear their own words in empowering as well as illuminating – I
will unpack this more next week.
In
the conclusion of "conflict as a positive" I will provide a few more
insights about process as well as examples of where conflict was authentically
and powerfully shifted from a negative to a positive.
My
best hopes are that we can individually as well as collectively begin to
"think" differently about conflict - stay tuned
